FOR COOKIE

regrets,

i have only after you have left. i wasn’t given enough time,

to realise i needed time itself,

to cherish you, care for you.

your departure left a gaping hole,

deep in my heart,

and tears fell,

as the news sunk in.

i’m sorry for not being there,

during your last few minutes,

as you gasped for oxygen and last moments,

this morning before i left,

as you lay in the backyard motionless,

the past week,

as your body weakened so quickly it was scary,

all the years we grew up together,

as i reminisced about the rare, but beautiful memories we created.

i’m sorry i didn’t spend enough time,

with you.

but its too late to be sorry and filled with regret, for you’re already up there

watching over us,

loyal as always.

i hope you forgive me,

for i am left with my painful regrets,

and nothing but your absence,

and our fifteen years of moments.

every single one of them precious.

________________

love, ashley forever and always.